Don't you wish you knew what they see?

They see me crying, sleeping, talking and reading

They even watch me while I'm bleeding -

FOR YOU!

Thinking and dreaming,

Hurting and screaming

Waiting to call you

Falling away

I know I can't stay

And this notion it just kills me

You can't tell me it's wrong....

You're GONE

There's no one nothing near me as of today

What the hell was I thinking?

This one I don't even know is closest to me

Another human being.

Somewhere else on this earth living

Very low on everyone's priority list

When god shot me to Earth he missed

WAS I TO LIVE THIS WAY?

Pushed away in everyone's fantasy

Holding all of my emotions in

Every time I lose you all I think I win

Well fuck I'm tired of this shit

So I run the hell away from all of it.

Do you like to see me this way?

Constantly hurt and bleeding?

Flames are burning so bright

I don't know why I even bother to fight

"I guess the fourtune teller's right

I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light"

I sear I am

All I'm doing is what I can

No life no right

No night and no knife

The things I do

What did I say when I fell

In love with you

So neat, so deep

And at night in my dreams you creap

Sitting here holding you dear

Being pushed away day after day

Year after year.

Do you ever wonder why I'm still here?

Do you think I'll cry?

Do you think I'll pout?

Before you guess you have to know what

My love is about.

I won't hurt you and sorry to say

That you can't hurt me today

I'm just feeling solid as a fock

But when I hear those words

I get knicked

But it's OK

I'm not feeling seseptable in that way.

What would you do or say

When you see what you've done to me.

But it's ok...

I didn't really care that much anyway

I mean, you were enough for shitty lil me

I guess that's why you couldn't wait to see

What we could be

Well shit, it happened again

That's OK though because I never win

I've lost everything

Can't people see that 'bling bling' don't mean a thing

Oh well, alls gone to hell

But really, I had no right.

I've only been your friend

Day and night

 

It's not fair it's not fair.

What did I do?

It's too late now but I'm sorry

I'm going insane in my brain

Because I won't let anyone see that this whole thing

Is getting to me.

.... Excuse me while I lay down....

That is how I describe this guy.

The only thing I can think of to do

Is call you.

I feel guilty as this stuff comes out.

Knowing what the truth is about

I wish I could go back then

Back then when I first learned

To use a pen

An inspiration is what you are to me

Like a powerful wild light, you make me see

Filling my head with things to be

Only when I hear your voice

Can I fathom that I'm a choice

A choice of destruction look and see

Beware your demise and stay away from me

I don't want to but I'm bound to make you bleed

Cold and clean

Seeming to read all I do is need

I'm starving to say I want to

So unfortunate that thinking is all I

DO